Best Documentaries to Watch Stoned

If you’re like me, you enjoy occasionally getting high as a blue jay.

And one of the best things to do when you’re high as a blue jay is go for a walk and engage strangers in conversation just to see what you’ll say when the pressure to act normal is on. At the moment, though, a lot of people don’t have the option of smoking pot and commenting on old ladies’ shoes at the traffic lights because, in case you didn’t notice, where in the middle of a pandemic. People are stuck inside their homes with nothing to do but skin up, eat chips and scour the internet for entertainment—and for those people (and to fulfil my contract here at Monster Children) I’ve pieced together seven documentaries I think you should watch the next time you get high. There’re so many other ones, but this a good start, I reckon. Maybe I’ll do Best Documentaries to Watch Stoned Part 2 later on.

Koyaanisqatsi (1982)

Let’s get a couple of the obvious classics out of the way for the people who just started smoking pot and watching trippy documentaries. Koyaanisqatsi is a nonverbal narrative experiment scored by Philip Glass that seamlessly meshes together otherwise disparate footage from around the U.S. Described as a ‘tone poem’ by the guy who coined that one, Koyaanisqatsi is guaranteed to blow your mind every time you watch it. After Koyaanisqatsi, the filmmakers made Powaqqatsi (1988) and Naqoyqatsi (2002), but you don’t need to see those because Koyaanisqatsi will always seem new to you provided you always watch it high.

Baraka (1992)

This one is kinda like Koyaanisqatsi’s little brother. Like Koyaanisqatsi (and punch me if I say ‘Koyaanisqatsi’ again), Baraka is a free-flowing visual extravaganza with no narrative or voice over. Unlike Koyaanisqatsi, however (punch me), Baraka travels beyond the United States and documents the natural world, the technological world, and human activity across twenty-four countries around the world. It is flawlessly edited and very, very trippy, so get the bucket bong out from under the sink and give it a go.

Grey Gardens (1975)

This one is not trippy at all, but it is incredibly interesting, and you probably don’t need to be high to enjoy it. But why not get high anyway? It’s 10 AM on a Tuesday somewhere, am I right? Grey Gardens is a documentary centred on the everyday lives of two upper-class society women (a mother and daughter named ‘Little Edie’ and ‘Big Edie’ respectively) who were left behind by ‘society’ and now languish in a dilapidated mansion in East Hampton, slowly going insane with their many, many cats. Compelling, bittersweet, and definitely worth watching after you’ve smoked some marijuana.

 F For Fake (1973)

I love Orson Welles. I recommend getting familiar with his films if you haven’t already (please tell me you’ve seen Citizen Kane), but I strongly urge you to erect an igloo tent in your living room and watch F For Fake in there with a Camberwell Carrot. F For Fake uses the career of notorious art forger Elmyr de Hory to explore ideas around authenticity and authorship, all presented by Welles himself. It’s a bit thinky and you’ll have to follow closely, but that will be pretty easy once you’ve burnt up some Alaskan Thunderfuck.

Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse (1991)

The making of Apocalypse Now was gnarly and I actually recommend the documentary about its making over the actual film. Basically, everything that could go wrong during the production does go wrong, and director Francis Ford Coppola almost loses his career and his mind. It’s an absolutely riveting film, but I don’t recommend watching it if you suffer from contact anxiety when you’re high as all b’Jesus on Ghost Train. Intense.

Night on Earth (2020)

This is a new one you can watch now on Netflix. It’s basically a documentary about what nature gets up to when the sun goes down. Spoiler: it fucks. Just kidding, but it does glow in the dark and eat itself. Planet Earth with the lights off. Who knew there was so much bioluminescent shit in the world? I didn’t. Pack a bowl of Larry’s Bowling Shoes Haze and whack this on immediately.

My Best Friend (1999)

This film is absolutely bonkers. If you don’t know who Klaus Kinski is, get ready to meet him. Klaus Kinski was a German actor and the best friend of Werner Herzog, who directed Kinski in several films, including Nosferatu the Vampyre (1978), Fitzcarraldo (1982), and Aguirre, the Wrath of God (1972). Hertzog and Kinski’s relationship was, to put it mildly, bumpy, and My Best Friend is a document of that. Kinski is insane, plain and simple. He routinely loses his shit on set, threatens people, foams at the mouth, and generally carries on like a pork chop. He is a brilliant actor, but, my god, what an absolute nutter. At one point he attempts to walk off set during the production of Fitzcarraldo and Herzog threatens to shoot him if he leaves… Which makes Hertzog mental as well. Roll up some Rock Ape Super-kush and enjoy.