Surfing is in an odd place.

A sport that has long existed on the fringes now coming into its own polished, vlogging, smoothie over a beer, mass appeal phase where heaven forbid someone has a personality or an opinion. There are benefits to this of course, we don’t need to get into them but at some point I think everyone has asked where has all the fun gone? Vaughan Blakey and Nick Pollet definitely asked this question with the answer resulting in a surf movie so left of field it just might save the whole industry. We chatted with the boys about ‘The Greatest Surf Movie in the Universe’ and their upcoming plight to bring some character back into the surf world.

Firstly what the fuck? Where did this come from?

(Both laughing)

Nick: Well ever since I watched Team America I had the idea.

Yeah, that’s exactly what came to my mind when I saw the trailer.

Vaughan: Team America but bogan.

N: Then, when I saw movies like Doped Youth. I mean, there’s not really anything like it. So it was just combining the two. That’s where it started in my brain.

And then Vaughan, you wrote the script for it?

V: Yeah, so Nick had actually made a little thirty-second trailer already. He showed me in South Africa years ago, and he goes, ‘I’m going to make this movie that I think it’s going to be sick, what do you think?’ And I remember just looking at it going… (laughs)… Nah. I did think it was sick, but I didn’t think there was a whole movie in it at all. I thought, like, yeah, maybe ten or fifteen minutes. By the time we started writing, we got the ball rolling a bit more, then we got some backing… When I started writing it, I just wanted to make Nick laugh as much as I could. That was my goal. I didn’t care one bit about who would watch the movie or that anyone would ever see it because I kind of doubted still that it would get made. But yeah, I just wrote it one night. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I was so drunk and so off my head, having the best time writing the worst gags—like, really, really bad. I sent it to Nick that night, and he read it in the morning, and he’s like, I love it!

N: I remember reading the first bit, and it just made me so happy. I was losing it laughing. It was the exact style I wanted. To me, that rawness of just getting the first draft of something so authentic straight off the bat was really special. Vaughan’s best work comes when he leaves everything to the last minute.

V: Yeah, Monster Children know that better than anyone. I swear to god, the whole office is there waiting for my Lips page to come in, and I’m just still just sitting at home drinking beers, watching footy going ‘Farrrrk, I better write that column!’ When I got it to Nick, I was like, I’ll rewrite it, I’ll change heaps of stuff, and he’s going, ‘No way. We’re running it exactly how it is.’

Well, I mean, the response from my mates who watched the trailer over the weekend, they’re loving it.

V: Yeah, good. Surfing is in such a weird place at the moment. It’s been homogenised to the point where no one can step out of line. I’ve been in the industry for a long time and watched it change. I guess when I was running Surfing World, it wasn’t really a place where you let a lot of your own personality shine because you’re trying to be a representative of this giant subculture. I mean the people in surfing, they’re all just riding waves, but they couldn’t be more different from one another. The people in this film have been fully rubbed out like they don’t get considered. Fun for the sake of it has been replaced by earnestness and awareness and inclusiveness, which is fantastic—that’s been amazing for the sport—but there’s still got to be a place for just ripping in and having fun. But not ever at anyone else’s expense. Which is where Nick and I are coming from. There isn’t one put-down joke in the whole movie, that’s not how we roll. But I think you can have a place where you don’t have to make stuff and be sensitive to who’s going to be offended. You can make stuff that is feel good and heartfelt and just humourous. And you should be able to. As long as you’re not being a horrible person, then you should be able to make whatever the fuck you want.

Yeah, absolutely I back that. It’s refreshing to see, and it’s what we need—to stop taking ourselves so seriously.

V: Exactly.

On the whole different personalities thing, how did you even get Craig to do something like this? He never does stuff like this.

V: Well, we originally had Gabriel Medina—did the whole movie with him. It was done. Then we had to get them [the cast] to sign releases, and he went, ‘Oh, I better send it to my people,’ just because it was a legal document. He’s big business, y’know. His people just watched the movie and went, ‘Absolutely not.’

N: At that stage, it was a little less refined than it is now, and I suppose their humour just doesn’t translate the same. So, when Vaughan said Craig was keen, it just made it into this whole other thing, opening it up to a whole other audience. Everyone has these certain images of people in the surf industry, but this movie has them all coming together.

What about Luke Hemsworth?

N: Well, I filmed Mick surfing with Chris [Hemsworth] and Luke a while back. I showed them the same animation that I showed Vaughan and they were losing it laughing at how ridiculous it was. He said he would be keen to help out in a way, but I didn’t really think he was being serious. But he was, and he was the biggest legend ever. Even just his experience on set, he’s so talented. He just made it fun.

V: We were actually in talks with Jonah Hill right up until the last week. Then at the last second, we got an email from his people saying he was just too busy. We were like, ‘God, that would’ve been good,’ but at the same time, Luke was always the first pick. But Jonah was so close. I mean, I don’t even know how close it was on his end, but we were made to feel like it was close on our end.

How long does it take to do the animation?

N: I think I reshot the movie about five times. I would just get the dolls, drink beers and just make the movie. It felt like I was hanging out with my friends (laughs). It was a bit weird. The producers got a bit angry with me because I’d be like, ‘Yeah, I can get this shot done in a week,’ but realistically, it would take me like a month.

Why are there so many dicks?

V: Well, we got these dolls for the film made in China, and when they sent them over and we opened the box, there was just a bag of dicks in it. Like the dolls just came with this giant bag of dicks. We just looked at each other and were like, ‘Well, we have to use these—they’re all veiny and properly shaped.’ The wild thing is that they’re all boners; there are no flaccid dicks in there.

N: Yeah, they came in all different shapes and colours.

V: So, yeah, that’s why there are so many dicks.

Would be rude not to use them, really.

N: Yeah, we kind of just used anything lying around. When I gave the film to the post-production house, I did a fight scene that used sauce as blood, but I only had BBQ. So it was all brown, but I was like, ‘Oh, they’ll be able to change that.’ Turns out it’s a lot harder to change (laughs).

V: The whole thing is so DIY. It was all created in Nick’s garage. The only thing that’s not is the live-action stuff. It’s unbelievable, three years he spent in his garage playing with dolls while his life disappeared down the drain.

There’s surfing in it, though?

N: Yeah, it's footage I’ve already got. That’s why I had so much footage of Medina: I’ve been traveling with him for years. I wanted him in it because he’s never been in a cool movie, and he’s such a cool character. But surfing is really secondary to the rest of it.

Do you think this movie will save surfing?

V: I think this movie will save surfing.

If this movie comes out and everyone goes, ‘What the actual fuck?’ would it still be worth it?

N: Fucking oath. The funniest thing for me was just having such a ridiculous idea and taking it as far as we have. It’s scary as shit, but the number of laughs we had was outrageous. Even just the amount of laughs I had by myself in the shed made it worth it.

V: I’ve been in the surf industry since I was seventeen, and this is the scariest thing I’ve been a part of. I had the same feeling when we made Doped Youth. To go this far out there, it does feel like you have the potential to destroy everything you’ve worked hard to create in your life. But then again, if we’re gonna go out, I’d rather go out in a blaze of plastic dicks. Better to go out like that than fizzling on the sideline.

N: I wanted to write this in the movie, but I thought it was a bit too corny, but anyway I remember when I was in school in an editing class in year eight or something. I was editing a surf movie and this girl was just shaking her head at me saying I had too much time on my hands, and that always sat with me. Like, why the fuck is having too much time on your hands a bad thing? I think it’s a great pleasure in life to have too much time on your hands. Otherwise, stuff like this would never get made.

V: I don’t know what surf culture is or how it's meant to be perceived anymore, but this feels, like, real. Realer than a lot of other stuff.

When do we get to see it?

N: Premier at Bells. We’d like to do some sort of tour with it, but at the moment, we’ve got four definite spots locked in: Bells, Margaret River around the same time as the comp, Snapper alongside the Challenger series, and then Sydney at the Orpheum.