7 Things We Want (And So Do You)
the essential 1st generation Craig Anderson tote by d_b_
A couple of nights ago, I woke up in a cold sweat, feverish and unsettled.
My eye lids burst open with such force of panic that I felt I could have lost them then and there. My brain swelled and my heart sank into my stomach. As Hamlet, I melted and thawed and resolved into a dew. I was completely overcome with the tragic realization that I am not in possession of Craig Anderson’s signature tote bag, nor the Stussy Cafe Racer Leather Jacket, nor even the JBL Live 660 NC headphones. I felt pathetic and despicable, which is weird because I’m cool as fuck. So if I’m cool as fuck and this is my shopping list, surely it is yours, too.
The Essential 1st Generation Tote 35L Craig Anderson
We have barely anything good, but the good things that we do have, we want to contain and carry them in something equally as good. Something’s only as good as the thing that it is carried in, and so, carry your few good things in the Essential 1st Generation Craig Anderson 35L Tote bag from our favorite Scandinavian baggage and travel designers, D_b_. Made to last and built to fit every last thing you could possibly carry, the large-yet-compact vessel is perfect for trips to the beach, or weekends away. Additionally, you will get to flex to all of your friends that you have it and they don’t. When they ask you for the sunscreen, you will get to say, ‘yeah, it’s in my Essential 1st Generation Tote 35L Craig Anderson bag.’ When they ask you where their toddler is that you were supposed to be looking after, you will get to say, ‘yeah, he’s by my Essential 1st Generation Tote 35L Craig Anderson bag.’ When they scream, ‘I can’t find my son! Oh God! I can’t find my son!’ You will get to say, ‘yeah, he’s going out to buy an Essential 1st Generation Tote 35L Craig Anderson bag.’
The Ojas Artbook Shelf Speaker
We have two of these gorgeous noisy little fuckers at our LA office and let me tell you, the fidelity is high. So high that it pains me when I have to leave and board a flight back to my crap apartment in New York that is only equipped with a cassette player and a bodega bluetooth speaker (the narrator of which has an inexplicable Cantonese accent). It is pitiful. I may as well not listen to music. I may as well crawl into a cave and die. Going to the LA office and hearing every hiss and crackle that the producer couldn’t detect but comes through nice and crisp through the Ojas wooden amp chamber is like taking a hit of heroin and then going clean over and over again. It isn’t good for my health, nor is it yours. I’m not saying that no one should be doing Ojas heroin. In fact, the opposite. I think that EVERYBODY should be doing heroin. Musical heroin. Ojas heroin. Pick up your fix today.
The Study Cafe Racer Leather Jacket
I am not a stylish man, and neither are you. We try on cool pants and all we can see are our disproportionally small legs when compared to our bulbous heads and long torsos. We try on leather jackets and all we can think is, ‘this jacket really accentuates my feminine hips and beer tits.’ It is shameful and unfortunate. All you wanted to do was be the kind of person who wears leather jackets, and now you are filled with humiliation and body discomfort. Fear not, for the fit of the new Study Cafe Racer Leather Jacket is flattering on all types and sizes. It makes you look cool instead of cool. It makes you look like the kind of guy who wears a leather jacket in the Nick Cave, Cry Baby, goth way, instead of the 2 Fast 2 Furious, owns-a-Kawasaki-Ninja-and-makes-sure-you-hear-it way.
The Kismet Olfactive Classic Collection Sample Set
I bet you think you smell pretty good. I bet you think you smell like a pile of daisies sitting on a pile of incense. In reality, you smell like a pile of shit sitting on a pile of shit. Rather than douse yourself with Axe body spray (or Linx, as someone has just told me it is referred to in Europe and the commonwealth), gain some dignity, some status, and some sense of self by ordering the Kismet Olfactive sampler kit. For the low low price, you can get six tiny bottles of delectable scents, all hand crafted by our very good friend and former staff, Shabby. We all wear it. Your favorite skater wears it. Your favorite surfer wears it. It is the smell of team handsome. It is the odor of success, bitch. Shabby probably said it better than that, so let’s quote her.
‘Fragrance is a relationship—experiment before you commit. Find your perfect match with our Classic Collection Sample Set, featuring 6 x 2ml sample vials of our Classic Collection perfumes: Nostalgia (A Sonnet for Grasse), Tuberose Tantra, The Poet, Nymphéas, Wedding in Oaxaca, and Studio Scent.’
Diary #1 by Efron Danzig
If you don’t know, Efron Danzig fucking rips at skating. I have seen it. She rips. She is better in person than in footage which is a very rare breed of skater. I am far more enthralled by the real life talents of this individual than I think can be conveyed effectively over second-hand accounts. Likewise, Efron is a very talented photographer, and it isn’t possible to properly convey that to you as an outside party, it must be seen to be believed, and I am so enthusiastic about this that I included not one but two images on Efron’s behalf. Consider a small glimpse. A freebee. You have to buy the book to see the rest.
The Polaroid I-2 Instant Camera
Monster Children has a long history of giving photography a platform and a definitive voice. We pride ourselves on championing the medium in a way that doesn’t promote the arbitrary bullshit hot-girl-bikini-sunset nor the disgusting porto-fashion-Y2K garbage, but the real gritty stuff. The cheese of the cheese. Cream of the crop. Whatever other saying you can think of. That’s us. Our love for quality photography is only matched by our impatience. Those two predilections converge on the Polaroid I-2, the world’s sharpest and most versatile instant camera. With an extraordinary amount of manual control and a lens sharp enough to cut your finger on, there is simply no beating it.
The JBL Live 660 NC On-Ear Headphones
I like to make a lot of noise(!), but unfortunately I am often confined to the oppressive bounds of my bedroom walls and the long reach of sound ordinances. While I would much rather be blasting the shit out of Bangers & Mash by Radiohead (preferably through the Ojas speaker, as previously begged), for more intimate listening, I am won over by the JBL Live 660 NC. They are discreet, but pack an enormous punch. I borrowed them for this trip to Los Angeles and I am considering telling my friend that I lost them and keeping them for myself. You might be thinking to yourself, ‘that’s a dick move, he’s your friend, Naz.’ Oh, is he? I am so confident that he doesn’t read my writing that I am willing to divulge my plan publicly on it, so how good of a friend is he, really?