What’s Been Done In The Monster Children x Vans Collab Shoes
The Monster Children x Vans Skate Authentic Mid and Skate Slip On have been out for two weeks, and it has been a very, very busy two weeks.
We have done hardly anything at all workwise because we have been too busy doing anything else in these shoes. Surfing, skating, playing, running, drinking, falling, bailing, stomping, curling, kicking, and smoking in these bad boys has taken up a whole lot of time and effort, but it’s been well worth it. You might be asking yourself, ‘is this article referring to a singular lazy degenerate entity referred to simply as Monster Children?’ No, the answer to that is no. When I say, ‘we have done all this blah blah blah,’ I am referring to the collective that comprises Monster Children’s weird, archaic network.
Weirdos in Sydney, Melbourne, Hawaii, Los Angeles, New York City, Boston, Miami, London, and elsewhere. From photographers to friends to contributors to pros to writers to fans to accountants to vague drinking buddies, here are some things ‘we’ have done in the new Monster Children x Vans collab skate shoes (in no particular order), and so can you.
Landed more than five kickflips.
Drank at least eight Guinness.
Had sex.
Ran.
Played frisbee with a border collie.
Entered a hot dog eating contest.
Had sex in a different bed than before.
Had sex in a car.
Had sex on a beach.
Touched a member of Fontaine’s DC’s hair.
Surfed Waikiki.
Ran a portion of a marathon before bleeding heels cut it short (skate in these shoes, don’t jog).
Got asked to leave the line up in Waikiki.
Wrote the next great American novel.
Stole the expensive chocolate from Erewhon.
Played three shows.
Crowd surfed.
Got in a fist fight.
Lost a fist fight.
Boarded six airplanes.
Tried cocaine with someone named Platinum Dan.
Made friends with some teenagers out in the woods.
Drank a bottle of wine in the park.
Ate shit on a kickflip.
Took Curren to Putt-Putt.
Got day drunk on a beach on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii.
Hopped a fence.
Got pneumonia.
Got kicked out of our house.
Graduated from college.
Missed four deadlines.
Got Covid.
Recovered from Covid.
Got our tits out.
Lost a shoe in the surf.
Snuck back stage.
Quit smoking (cigarettes).
Hiked to the Hollywood sign.
Did Ketamine in a stranger’s Bushwick apartment.
Threw roses on stage.
Broke a marriage.
