bar italia are a band from London.

That’s all they feel you need to know about them, and, I mean, fair enough. There comes a point where even I become annoyed with myself, my profession, and my need to describe and dissect bands and the music that they make, as though the music can’t speak for itself. What’s that David Lynch quote? I’m going to botch it, but it’s something along the lines of, ‘you put all this time and thought into making a movie, and then they want you to talk about the movie, but the movie is the talking!’ Yeah, something like that. That’s a fair point. I think about that often.

What can be said about Bar Italia that they can’t say for themselves? Not much. However, I - and I would assume, most of my colleagues in music journalism who spend their Friday nights at home in front of a laptop listening to the new embargoed album about to drop by some obscure teenage post-punk Chicago three piece and preparing our analytic star rating - don’t seek to speak for artists; that’s what an interview is for. Rather it is our mission to contextualize, challenge, and interpret an artist’s output. That in mind: bar italia are a band from London who make music that sounds sexy, smokey, androgynous, and cares little about you, which is why we booked them to play our showcase in Austin, Texas, at SXSW last month, where we asked them all at once to answer a whole bunch of unnecessary and unimportant questions during a smoke break in the back alley behind the venue.

How’s it going? How’s texas?

Nina Cristante: Love it. We had a really good day. 

What was on the agenda? 

NC: We didn’t have much apart from playing tonight. 

Jezmi Tarik Fehmi: We looked at cowboy boots.

Did you get any?

Liam Toon: They’re so expensive. A thousand dollars.

NC: I bought a really nice wallet. 

LT: We went and rode Lime scooters all around the city.

Did you die on those scooters?

Sam Fenton: They’re a little sketchy but it was fine. 

NC: We’d actually done it before. 

SF: That’s how we get around.

NC: Yeah, when in America.

JTF: That’s how we tour.

LT: Just strap all the luggage in the back.

I was told a story about a guy in Idaho riding on ten of those at once, like stacked on each other criss cross.

JTF: Whoa. Oh, I’ve seen that before.

Like he works for the company or something.

SF: Oh, and that’s how he gets them around?

NC: In London they just have vans.

SF: Idaho? That’s an Ida-no from me.

LT: Wait, you-da-hoe?

JTF: Ohhhhhhh!

Jesus christ.

NC: We’ll leave that out.

SF: Yeah, yeah, sorry. 

I’ve gone on tour in the UK and in America, and I’ve found it to be sort of worse in the US. Do you have any preference?

LT: Worse here?

NC: What do you mean by worse?

Eh just more difficult, further drives, more complicated, more tiring. That sort of thing. Although, it could be because I’m from the US and the UK is more exotic.

NC: Yeah, it must be that.

JTF: Yeah, it’s much better playing here than Northampton. 

LT: Have we played Northampton? 

NC: Wait, yeah, we haven’t played there yet. Honestly, I think that touring in America is much better.

LT: It’s just different, innit?

NC: One of you was saying that the landscape of the UK is very beautiful.

JTF: Yeah, true, when you get to Scotland it’s quite nice. 

NC: Scotland is beautiful, Wales is very beautiful. 

SF: I agree with that, yeah.

LT: Yeah, Wales is sick.

Do you have any touring ambitions as far as destinations?

NC: It was Tokyo, but now we have just booked a show there in May so we’ll be heading over there!

What about aspirations and ambitions generally as a band?

JTF: I think maybe ask us in a year. I feel like all of our aspirations from before are coming true this year. Playing Japan, playing Glastonbury, Coachella, those were our main things.

NC: We talked about scoring a film. That’d be a big one.

SF: Big fat sync.

Like a sink for your dishes?

SF: Where you get your song used f-

JTF: Yes for dishes! Sam’s washing his hands in it.

SF: And my feet, yes.

JTF: I just think that our aspirations have been exceeded by a million miles.

NC: As far as little points that you want to try to achieve, there are a bunch of little points that you want to hit like playing at certain festivals or destinations or rooms, and that’s all great, but in terms of what it means to be in a band, the goal is to make music and keep making interesting things.

What do you do when you’re not making music?

JTF: Football, which would be soccer to you Americans.

Thanks for that.

JTF: We were playing that all today.

LT: That’s why we’re so burnt.

[the band is quite literally and severely sunburnt]

Holy fuck! There’s free sunscreen in the venue!

NC: We all got so much sunscreen trying to avoid it, all of our bags are full of it.

SF: But we’re English.

NC: Yeah, we literally came from eight degrees, which, I don’t know what that is here, but it’s very cold.

JTF: Oh wait, I thought of another personal goal for us: getting one of our songs in a skate video and it came true recently.

What part is it?

JTF: I don’t know, I don’t think it’s out yet.

NC: He’s a skater.

Do you have clips? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

SF: Ooooo.

JTF: I don’t have any clips, no, but I do love skating. 

When people come to see you live, what do you hope they take away from it?

SF: A mad buzz.

JTF: I want their neck to hurt from whipping it so hard.

NC: Thinking, ‘good show’. 

How do you define ‘good’? How would you like them to walk away from your live performance?

LT: Horny.

SF: Yeah, horny. 

NC: Very lost, very horny.

When you go and see a show, what do you look for or admire in your own experience?

NC: I like dancing.

JTF: Good ole knees up.

SF: Feeling a lot.

NC: Yeah, emotions. I just feel a lot of emotions. What about you? What do you like in a show?

Oh you know, a bunch of older dudes at the very front with their arms crossed not moving at all.

JTF: Oh, yes, the best.

NC: That’s usually what happens. 

SF: A bunch of industry dudes just taking up space at the front and nodding their heads.

LT: There’s always a yawner-

NC: Who likes it, though,

LT: Yeah the yawner is really into it but he’s still tired. 

SF: He’s just really exhausted from how good the show is.

Catch bar italia in Australia at the dates and venues below:

Oxford Art Factory, Sydney - Tuesday, 4th June

Black Bear Lodge, Brisbane - Thursday, 6th June

RISING @ Day Tripper, Melbourne - Saturday, 8th June