5 Things We Did In The ROARK x BLACK SABBATH Collection And So Can You

Roark Run Amok, your favorite name in apparel for both land and sea, has blessed us with items from their Black Sabbath collaboration collection and we are in love. 

What better way to adorn yourself than with Sabbath’s blessed signature? And inlaid upon some of the most high-quality, soft, functional pieces of textile we’ve come by? No way, that’s what. The line of garments birthed from the unholy fires of two glorious houses uniting (Roark teaming up with Black Sabbath) is delectable, stylish, and focuses heavily on Sabbath’s Vol. 4 album, which, in our humble opinion, is perhaps their best. 

While the collection might look very fucking good - and it does - the functionality of a garment is often overlooked when considering what is fashionable and why. An item of clothing could be denied or accepted purely on the basis of appearance, but that is only one side of a 12 sided die when examining and reviewing how good a bit of wear is. Sure, you look hot, but is the piece actually, literally, hot? Will you be sweating bullets right through it, outlining the circle of your arm pits? You must ask yourself, ‘what can I actually do in these clothes?’ For that, we’ve got you. Here are six lucky things we’ve done in the Roark x Black Sabbath Run Amok collection, and so can you.

1. Run:
   Our pal and former Editor in Chief Crombie was all about going places in a hurry, so naturally he was quite into running. While we try to get out running as much as humanly possible, let’s be honest… most of our exercise comes from carrying boxes of magazines up and down the stairs to our office, or from our muscles straining at the thought of missing yet another print deadline (sorry). One thing we have done, though, is run from the cops that the shop owner called on us for skating the curb spot in his parking lot. The curbs are perfectly slicked and we spend more time there than we’d like to admit. When that old man calls the cops, fearing repercussions for our dozens of unpaid parking tickets, we naturally dash off, and in our Roark x Sabbath collab shorts, boy do we look good doing it. 

2. Do Drugs:
   You know that song, ‘Laguna Sunrise’ off of Sabbath’s Vol. 4? Good song. Love that song. You know where that song came from? Tony Iommi, Sabbath’s guitarist, spent a night out partying in California’s Laguna Beach - just meandering about. Tony found himself ingesting quite a bit of acid, which only intensified his meandering. A very vivid experience. He eventually stumbled onto that fateful beach just in time to watch the sun peek out gently from the East, inspiring that hidden gem of a track. I don’t know if I’m legally allowed to say that most if not all of the employees at Monster Children do or have actively done amounts of acid. I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell you that, so I won’t. 

3. Start a Church:
   Though you may praise us if you’d like and though we have looked into it for tax reasons, Monster Children is not a religious institution. However, that shouldn’t stop you from copping the Sabbath collection and getting the paperwork started. ‘Why is this on the list?’ you’re thinking to yourself. ‘Why would it be better to start a church while wearing the Roark x Black Sabbath collection?’ you continue thinking to yourself?’ If we are in your head that deeply, then I’ll say one word: inception. If I could say one more word: irony. 

4. Jump:
   We love concerts and spend an inordinate amount of time at them. While we sometimes spring for that VIP wristband and hang tight up on the balcony, we spend most of our time in the front and center - right in the thick of the crowd - jumping to whatever crescendos come our way. In the Roark x Black Sabbath short, we are loose and limber for the leap. With the Roark x Black Sabbath shirt, we attract ourselves a worthy dance partner. Really, what more could we want from a night out? 

5. Sleep:
   Hopefully next to the person you met at the concert. Comfort is key, we all know that. These garments by Roark are as comfy and lightweight as can be. The Mathis Raglan Tee especially. Constructed from a lightweight DriRelease® Jersey Knit, the shirt regulates skin temperature and dries 4x faster than your typical cotton tee.  It’s like wearing feathers, only less creepy - it’s like wearing nothing at all. Whether you’re sleeping or ‘sleeping’, they do you good.

Check out the full collection over at Roark here.