Nancy Whang Reflects On Our New Doco, ‘I Think I’m Here,’
Nancy Whang is a person we think is very cool. She is also a major component in LCD Soundsystem and The Juan MacLean. We also made a film about her, and it’s playing now.
Specifically, we made I Think I’m Here, a short documentary directed by Mattias Evangalista about a specific sliver of Nancy Whang’s life post-Covid and how her life and personal philosophies contrast expectations of what a successful creative person’s life ought to be (the trailer is above, you should watch it).
The film is making the festival rounds now, but was shot in 2022, and things can change quickly; perspectives evolve, thoughts are challenged, and we thought we should see how Nancy is living her life now, how she feels about the film today, and what things she’d care to share with would-be viewers before going into the theater (I’ll give you a hint: it’s less than you think).
Get tickets to see ‘I Think I’m Here’ at Woodstock Film Festival, here.
Since I’ve met you, you’ve been very enigmatic to me, because I cannot figure out what gets you excited.
Listen man, why do I need to be excited about anything?
What’s Nancy at a ten?
My dog? I’m very excited about my dog. Really, though, what is this value placed on excitement?
That’s fair. I feel like I’m a pretty collected person also, and all of my excitement happens inside, but I do hit a ten. Do you hit a ten?
Sure! I mean I’m not fuckin’ stoic, but you’re asking me about leaving home for three and a half weeks to go work, so am I excited? Is it what I want to do? No, but I’m doing it, and there are things about it that I’m looking forward to.
I think that it’s hard for people like me who aren’t in a band or an artist to remember that playing is a job.
I was talking to a friend of ours recently who is in a band, and they’ve been touring a lot lately and are much younger than me. He was talking about being on tour, he’s way more comfortable. He gets excited about being there, it’s where he would rather be, and I remember that state of mind when I was younger and much happier on tour. I was excited to go, it was fun. I got to be with all my friends and go to these places and play shows, meet bands, make friends, you know, whatever. But also, leave my life. Postpone whatever responsibilities that I had and just kind of ignore them - the essential things of life like cleaning your apartment and doing your taxes.
I would be reluctant to come home, sometimes I wouldn’t. There were some times when I lived with roommates where I just couldn't go home, so I’d land and then check into a hotel room for a night before going back to my apartment. Now, though, I like being at home, and I have a life that I like to enjoy.
Was there a switch there?
I don’t think there was a switch, I think just getting older. It’s still fun and I still get a lot out of it, but after how many years… twenty four years? It’s like, you know, I’d often rather not. But if I have to do something, which most of us do, that’s not a bad thing to do.
Now that you’re two years separated from it, how are you feeling about it?
When it first came out and I watched it at the Brooklyn Film Festival, I immediately was like, ‘oh boy, this is from a long time ago’. It wasn’t that long of a time, but some things have changed, and at this moment I really can’t remember what exactly they were.
[WE PAUSED HERE TO WATCH THE FILM]
Well, even in the beginning right after shooting, when I was getting initial cuts, I was thinking about things that I said or wished that I had said differently. Even the day after we did the interview, I was thinking, ‘I’m thinking about it this other way, and I wish that I had said this.’ It’s nothing too specific, but watching myself talk about something afterwards and thinking that I could have articulated that better.
How much of that has to do with simply having to watch yourself on camera?
Oh, yeah, totally, definitely that. I mean, it’s only like fifteen minutes and I’m only speaking for like half of it, and it is only about a very specific sliver of time in my life, hot on the heels of a global pandemic.
“It’s still fun and I still get a lot out of it, but after how many years… twenty four years? It’s like, you know, I’d often rather not. But if I have to do something, which most of us do, that’s not a bad thing to do. ”
How’s it been since? Any major contrast?
Good! Leading up to the pandemic, I was really burnt out, and that was leading me toward these general philosophies about trying not to do anything.
That’s some interesting language, there. Trying not to do anything.
I was trying, yeah. I mean it took effort. It would have taken more effort had I not had the help of a fucking global pandemic, but even still, it was challenging. Especially right after, when people were getting back to living their lives. I feel like we talked about this at some point, but people would be like, ‘so what’d you do? How did you maximize your time? What a great opportunity for you to focus your energy on creating this other thing.’ and I was like, ‘or, a great opportunity to not do anything and not feel bad about it.’
I still kind of feel that way. A friend of a friend is working on this book about inspiration, and she’s reaching out to all these creative people that she knows to submit something. It’s very broad, you could submit images or a quote or some dissertation - something to describe your creative process and what inspires you to be creative. She sent me this whole explanation of the book and I was just immediately filled with panic and dread. I was like, ‘I do not know.’ I saw my friend and was explaining it to him that the way that I generally work is someone says, ‘can you do this for me,’ and I say, ‘yeah,’ and I do it. That’s how it works for me, and I still get hung up on this idea of how you’re supposed to be a creative person or a person who makes things.
Well there’s no one way, right?
No, there isn’t, but I think everyone thinks that there is, and they worry about not doing it right or living up to the expectations of being inspired. Like, you're asking me what excites me, I don’t know! What the fuck! I’m excited for the Mets. Do I care about baseball? Not really, but I’m excited. We went to a sports bar and watched a game, it was very exciting.
Do you make stuff that isn’t music?
I made breakfast this morning.
You’re a cook?
I cook.
Cook books, recipes…
Yeah, yeah, I’m into all that.
Is that the most present form of creativity in your life? Do you do that more than you make music?
Oh, 1000%. I don’t make music. I’ve made music.
What? What do you mean? You’re about to go and play shows!
I’m about to play music. The music is made, I just play it.
In all of our interactions you’ve drawn a pretty hard line about your creative credit or involvement - your personal touch on the music.
Well I think that there has been a lot of confusion or misunderstanding about what LCD is in all of its forms, and for me I just want to be clear about my participation in it, which is that I play in the live band, but I don’t write the music. It’s different- when we play live, there’s a lot of me in there, but it’s different with the recorded or the written music.
You seem much more open to your stake in the music this time around than two years ago.
I disagree, I have stake. I definitely have stake, but I’m not trying to insist on it anymore. I have stake, and I know its limits. I know what I’ve done that has contributed to the success of the band. There are plenty of LCD fans who have never seen us play, and for those people, I have nothing to do with why they like this band. I mean, maybe I have something to do with how they know about us, but as far as their experience of the band only listening to the records, then that’s not me.
I have the experience of people coming up to me and telling me that they’re a big fan, or finding out that I play in the band and saying they’re a big fan. It’s how I understand that people have different experiences of the band. And sometimes, on the other side of that, people who have seen us play a thousand times have no idea that I am standing right in the center next to the main guy. But anyway, people will say, ‘oh, I love that band, are you working on new music?’ and the fact that they’re asking me that question means that I have to unwrap so much for them; that I have to explain that I play in the band but don’t write - all that stuff, and that’s usually more conversation than I care to have about it, so I just say, ‘music is being made.’
I showed someone I Think I’m Here, and they had absolutely no idea who you are or what bands you’re in, and she liked it. What do you make of that?
Why did she like it?
At the end, she was like, ‘oh, she’s a musician?’ I think that people like her have an idea in their heads about how a musician like you would behave, and you don’t really live that way.
While she’s watching it, is she wondering like, ‘Wait, who is this person and why do I care what she has to say?’
If you were flat out on coke and self gratifying, then maybe she’d be like, fuck that person, but I think that the film and your perspective in it is interesting to people because it isn’t that.
Right, but she’s watching this thing with no idea about what I do or who I am, and I’m basically waxing philosophical about life. I'm wondering if she’s like, ‘who is this person and why am I supposed to think that this person is worth listening to?’ And if I wasn’t a musician, would she still think it’s interesting?
I think it’s multilayered. On one layer, there is a contrast between what someone expects of a famous musician and the reality of your life, and then another layer is the contrast between the expectations of the general perspective during the pandemic which was to maximize that time for some sort of profit or product, so there’s a lot to take away.
I can see the incongruity of what I do for a living and the way that I live my private life, but honestly though, I don’t live an exceptional life, which is to say that there are millions of people in the world who move through their day the same way that I do. A lot of them, I would say, with the intention of living their life that way. Quietly, without any grand ambition other than to exist and be happy. Because I live this way, I understand that people’s expectations are challenged, but also, nobody else in this fucking band lives that way! We all live these quiet, chill lives. We’ve got partners, some of us have kids, homes to look after, other projects and also other house projects. Like, I’m doing my laundry right now. I’m not an outlier, even in my band.
“I think everyone thinks that there is, and they worry about not doing it right or living up to the expectations of being inspired. Like, you’re asking me what excites me, I don’t know! What the fuck, you know? I’m excited for the Mets.”
Sure, to you!
No, I think objectively!
I don’t know man, but even if that is true, people make movies about normal people and their normal lives every day, and if there wasn’t value in that, Wong Kar Wai would not be everyone’s favorite filmmaker.
Yeah, for sure.
What, if any, sort of message or caveat or challenge would you like to give a viewer before they go and see the film?
Oh, I don’t know that I would want to do that… hmm.
Like you’re standing outside of the theater, you can say anything. Would it be, ‘you’re welcome’?
It certainly wouldn’t be that. I don’t know, I don’t think I’d want to say anything. I really am curious to know what people who have no idea who I am, and even after watching it, still don’t know or have never heard of LCD, I would like to know their impression. Less about me, but more the experience of watching something that was made about somebody talking about how she doesn’t really want to do that much. That’s interesting to me.
