John Cruckshank Is About The Laughs
Photos by Josh Sabini
You might know John Cruckshank from his Redfern Electrical Documentary he made with Luke Smith a few years back, a glimpse into his day-to-day life as a skateboarding stand-up comedian, who runs his own electrical business.
He’s probably the world’s only one. Or you may know him from his incredible guest trick in Pass~Port’s Kitsch. Or from his stand-up comedy, which is what we’re talking about today, to commemorate his new show, ‘Quiche Sandwich’. The final show in the ‘Weed Cunt’ trilogy. It’s a great show, I watched it in Melbourne and laughed a lot. For those in Sydney, he’s performing ‘Quiche Sandwich’ at the Factory Theatre from the 10th to the 14th of May as a part of the Sydney International Comedy Festival. If there are tickets still available when you see this you can buy them here. I promise you won’t regret it.
To someone who doesn’t know you or anything about you. How would you describe yourself to them?
I guess I’m a comedian first and foremost, you know. I’m about the laughs. Then everything else is just for me. But yeah. Stand-up comedian. 39 years old. From Sydney.
Congrats on the show, so you’re in Melbourne for the comedy festival at the moment. Is there anything you can say about the new show?
This show is the final piece of the stand-up trilogy that started with my first show called ‘Weed Cunt’, which is an unfortunate name in a lot of ways, but that is what it is. This is the last chapter in that. It’s just red hot, non-stop jokes, joke city.
What’s unfortunate about the name ‘Weed Cunt’?
I don’t know if it’s as clever as I thought it was, but I called it that because I thought no one really cares what these shows are called, and you may as well call it ‘Weed Cunt’. People would always laugh at that too. Then there is the trilogy ‘Weed Cunt’, ‘Choof Meridian’ and we’re here now with ‘Quiche Sandwich’, the final chapter.
Where did the name ‘Quiche Sandwich’ come from?
I was at my friend Rhino’s [Ryan Wilson] house, and he asked me if I was hungry, and I said yeah. Then he goes ‘quiche sandwich’ and he had quiche and he had bread and I thought that was good, you know.
Did you eat one?
Nah, I didn’t say yes, but it just made me laugh. He’s very funny which is why I thought it would be a good name.
Are you a fan of Quiche Sandwiches?
I’ve never had one. I mean I would have the tart, but I probably wouldn’t have it on the bread. That was the problem with calling it that at the start of the festival, because people couldn’t find tickets to the show, because all that would show up when you search it was cafés and shit [laughs]. People were like ‘I want to come to this show but I can’t find tickets, all I am getting is the three closest cafes to my house’. You know that’s obviously not good for business but I’m in the funny business, you know. So maybe it is [laughs].
There’s always been a bit of a rivalry between people in Melbourne and Sydney as to which is the better city. What are your thoughts about the matter?
My honest opinion is it’s easier to visit Melbourne if you’re from Sydney and it’s easier to come here and have a good time because there is so much going on. Sydney is good too, but if you live there, I think that’s when you see it. I mean, I like them both and I like working in them both. I’m fortunate enough now to have a lot of good friends in both places, so to me, I don’t want to say that they are the same place, but in terms of culturally in Australia and in the work I do it’s good to be in both and I genuinely mean that.
How did you get into comedy?
I just started doing comedy, I was doing stand-up when I was in primary school at lunchtime, and people would sit down and watch. They never let me in the talent quest but at lunchtime, it went hard. Then one day I remembered that I did that, I didn’t really think about it after primary school. Everyone would say to me that I was funny and stuff like that, then I realised you could get into comedy, I didn’t really know how it worked. But I remember the day when I realised and did.
How long ago was it?
It was about 15 years ago now.
In the show, you have a bit about your time doing comedy on a cruise ship. What was working on a cruise ship like?
It was one of those things that at the time I didn’t like it, but I look back and think that was pretty sick. It wasn’t even that long either. It was only a few months. I sort of did it just before covid, then there were no more cruises so I stopped.
Was it just around Australia?
It was New Zealand too. I think they were all international in theory, we would go to the South Pacific. It’s cool when it’s a place. Dunedin in New Zealand was pretty cool, Hobart too.
I think the fans who watched the original Redfern Electrical documentary are wondering if you’ve got anything else in the works. Are you working on anything at the moment?
Yeah, it’s all on the way. A few more things. Saddling up again. Hopefully that all goes well, that project has been really good. The plan is to keep it going and hopefully, it doesn’t take 15 years to get traction in that. Maybe I’ll be 60 being like ‘buy this polo shirt’, well that wouldn’t be so bad.
Can you say much about what you’re working on now?
There’s not much to tell at the moment. I think it’ll be better and I’m looking forward to it. We’re lucky that we did the first one and people saw it, it’s hard to get anything like that going. I think the new work I’ve been doing with that will be better. I’m looking forward to it, it’s a fun way to work in comedy.
I feel like one of the biggest questions people ask when they know about you is, ‘is he really an electrician?’. Can you set the record straight?
Mate, my licence is in my pocket if you want to see it. I am a licenced electrician. Trying to get that business going too. But yeah, people do wonder that, and I can confirm it’s true. People can call today on 0408 845 328.
Does comedy help business?
It’s hard to say. People ask what I do, I don’t even know what I do. I just get up in the morning and do all this shit.
Surely, it’s better than having a decal on the side of your Ute. It’s probably the best promotion you could ever get as an electrician.
Have a worldwide comedy sensation film? Thanks so much for saying that [laughs]. I am quite partial to a sick decal on the van though. I do remember when I first worked as an electrician, the guy was flat out and you could tell he was a very respected electrician, but he never had anything on his van. And it’s like that’s who is the busiest, the guy with the decal isn’t always the best one.
I asked our friend David Quirk this, but I wanted to see what you had to say. As two of Australia’s god-tier skateboarding comedians. Do you feel as if there is ever a rivalry between the two of you?
Nah, it’s all a part of the same thing, you know. It’s all a bit of fun anyway. It’s good having someone so similar, so close, more than anything. There are heaps of cunts I already hate, so I can’t be making enemies with my allies.
How long is the list of people you hate?
Oh, it’s not that long.
Are there any similarities between skating and comedy?
The obvious ones are right there, like the solo pursuit. What is cool about comedy is that you see adults become consumed by it very quickly. You see it in them, and the way comedians become their friend group. The cultures around them are similar in that way. Skating has that too and with both of them when you start and can’t stop.
Comedy’s cool because even though it’s embarrassing it's less embarrassing than being a DJ, so you sort of get a social pass, even if you’re shit where people are still like, ‘he stopped to do comedy’ and its sort of all jokes, it’s all funny. That’s another similarity I would point out.
You said to me the other day that when you’re in a hotel nothing else matters. What makes a hotel room so special?
[Laughs] I’m going to have to charge for the philosophy mate, you just said this was an interview. I guess sometimes it can be nice because you’re in a different zone. I think there is a lot of value there even though it’s all a ripoff.
Before we wrap up can we go behind the scenes of your noseslide shuv down the hubba in Paris that was in Pass~Port’s Kitsch?
Oh, I still remember that. It was a good day; I will remember it forever. It was one of the most memorable days I’ve ever had skating. I was over in Europe at the same time Pass~Port was doing that trip, so I was just tagging along. I wasn’t going to go to Paris, but I felt very welcome, everyone wanted me to come. So, I went over, Trent [Evans], Jack [O’Grady], Josh [Pall] and everyone else was already there a few days before. We went out for breakfast the first day I got there then after we ate on the way back to the accommodation, I found a block of hash on the ground in a bag. I got a bit of that, and I wanted to have it then and there, but I was like I’ll save it for after we skate. We went to a few spots and Josh and Callum [Paul] filmed tricks. I didn’t know but the day before, Jack went to try the backside 50-50 at that spot, so that was the whole plan to go there so he could land it. Then I started doing that mucking around trying the noseslide when we got there. He did the 50 so quickly, of course, he did [laughs]. After he landed it I kept trying the noseslide and I would get to the end and I couldn’t get out, because there is a grate at the bottom. It’s not straightforward, that’s pretty much all I can do, straightforward things. Zoolz [George Kousoulis] was filming and it was taking ages, then I had the idea to try the shuv, it’s a bit of a piss-take trick, but that’s what I sort of am. Then I remember trying it and I got on the first one and slipped out then the one after that I landed it as if it was that simple the whole time. The celebration was so sick, everyone was invested and very supportive, it was really sick. It was a great day. Then Matlok [Bennett-Jones] did a line there after I landed it, that’s also in the video. Then after all that we had the hash from the start of the day. What a day.
