Monster Children

View Original

Eurovision: A Musical European Odyssey Part Five

Presented by Hung Supply

I am now sitting on the floor of Heathrow airport waiting for my bag to come along the carousel.

I hate when people stand so close to the carousel, fucking relax. One of the more hungover I’ve been this trip. Or maybe I’m just really tired. Likely both. The last six odd days with Amyl have felt like one huge day. A total blur of chaos of the best kind.

In a few hours time I will meet my next maker - Bad Dreems. They will touch down from Melbourne before we hit the road BACK to Germany where I just was with Mini Skirt. Which also means getting the SAME ferry I just got off the other day with Amyl. My brain and body clock gave up weeks ago, you can’t fight it. I need a coffee, maybe some Mc Donald’s. Some sleep even?

HERE GOES

Took wrong airport transfer train but eventually found Bad Dreems. New band new van. The van is rad but the boot space is chock-a-block already. Not looking forward to playing Tetris every night reloading the gear. Burger King for lunch. Craving satisfied. Van has a small TV in it, pretty rock star shit. Even better (or worse?) the only DVD it has stuck in it is American Pie: The Wedding. Van aircon does not work. Back on my favourite ferry - Port of Dover to France, arrived 10:30pm. Short drive to Bruges, big ass drive to Hamburg tomorrow though. IBIS hotel tonight, arrived at midnight. Packet of chips for dinner from Bruges finest Ibis vending machine. Accidentally ordered a second packet instead of a bottle of water. Goddammit. Weird tiny pod like room with bunk bed, shower, sink etc all in within one meter from each other. Oh and the shower head lights up like a 70s disco because why not. Slept like a big baby. 

DAY OFF/ DRIVE TO HAMBURG 

Service station breakfast, borrowed a salad. Will pay them back later I swear. Ten odd hour drive to Hamburg today, luckily no show tonight. ‘Get Lost Festival’ in Hafenklang tomorrow. Bockwurst sausage for lunch, so dam good. Not sure why the sausage is triple the length of the roll. Made it to Hungary, for some reason the ten hour drive today didn’t seem so bad. Am I officially used to this life? Nice hotel tonight, seems to be the go at the start of the tour when it’s least needed…likely all down hill from here. Beer and cashews nuts with Miles in a wholesome town square area.‘GUN CLUB’ rock n roll club. Apparently the Beatles played here in 60s as the Quarrymen. First proper night out in Europe for the Bad Dreem boys, all eager to give it a crack. Walked the tourist party zone, amazing people watching area with plenty of debaucherous behaviour happening  One of the first nights I haven’t shot photos which is kinda nice. Obviously I still have a point and shoot on me in the ol’ faithful Roscoe Camera Pouch, der!  Early morning kebab. The ‘nights off’ usually turn out bigger than the show nights. 

GET LOST FEST 9, HAFENKLANG 

Slightly too early to be drinking but just tried some traditional egg liquor shots, basically just melted ice cream shots. After 28 shows with Split System Deon has arrived to play bass with Bad Dreems, the fucking mad man. A true rock-n-roll solider. Plenty of familiar faces around. So sick seeing so many Australian bands taking over Europe. Ghoulies, Flood Lights and Aborted Tortoise play tonight. Festival is sold out. Big start for the Baddies, packed out show is a good confidence booster for the rest of the tour. Mutant Strain from the US blew the roof off it. Everyone in very high spirits. A late night is inevitable when you're around multiple bands and familiar Australian faces. Thankfully tomorrow is a small drive. Bunk bed accomodation next door to venue. Too easy. 

VILLA KURISOM, BERLIN.

Painful game of Tetris to fit everything in the back of the van but we’re getting there. Thankfully no Tetris bullshit for me and the camera gear thanks to Hung’s Sidewalk Camera Sling. American Pie constantly looping without sound in the van. Ali has already lost his voice after the first show. Some may say for the better. Tonight is DIY venue in a community garden. Feels like a strange and deranged Alice In Wonderland dream. nowhereEvery wall is strewn with taxidermic animal. There’s a man with a small orange tie and a purple suite playing the ukulele in the garden. There’s also a big burley man in a skin tight blue leopard-print one piece wearing bunny ears whilst walking around playing the violin. Who literally appeared out of no where. Circus/comedy/theatre acts in the garden outside whilst the boys sound check inside. Tonight shows = sold out. Everyones stoked. Floodlights supporting tonight and for the next 2 shows. Sauna inside tonight, certainly won’t be the last sweaty show. Despite the packed out show it was a pretty responsible evening, I think everyone’s a little broken from the night before. Staying at a local fellas apartment along the the Karl-Marx-Alle. One room filled with 6 blow up mattresses.

OSTPOL, DRESDEN. 

Deon locked himself in the bathroom this morning. One of many many rules of the house we stayed at was ‘do not lock the bathroom door’. Honest kebab for lunch in Berlin before a piss easy drive to Dresden, two hours is nothing. Playing at ‘Ostpol’ tonight, was just here with Mini Skirt the other week, really cool venue. Another (and the exact same as two weeks ago) amazing pasta supplied by the venue. Classic situation of ‘fuck no one is coming to the show tonight’ then turns out to be packed rocking show. Few familiar faces fans from Mini Skirt show, real cool to see so much support for Aussie bands. Takeaway beers from a kebab shop that has barber chairs in front of pokies inside. Wild goose chase to find correct parking spot. We have 100% parked in the wrong complex. Fingers crossed the van still has windows and wheels left tomorrow. Late nights seem to be the reoccurring theme with Bad Dreems. Good lads. 

CAFE GLOCKSEE, HANNOVER.

Bit on the dusty side this morning. A severe amount of bread related meals have began again. Never relayed stopped to be honest. Highway driving with nothing to look at really drills the hangover in. Always a breath of fresh air when you arrive in the next town. Epic venue tonight, been a music venue for 30 years. Meats and cheese on arrival is big life saver. Dinner provided and fridge stocked up with booze too. Here we go again. Busiest Tuesday night you’ve seen anywhere. Europe always surprises me. Big crowd tonight, someone just crowd surfed all the way to the bar. First encore call of the tour. A mixed drink in Europe = free pour at least 3 shots worth. So hectic. Speaking of shots, just had a local delicacy which consisted of eating a slice of lemon topped with coffee and sugar before downing a vodka shot.Tonight’s accommodation is up about 100 flights of stairs to an old man’s apartment called Ralph, who’s lived here for 30 years and housed bands for 20 years of that.  In 2005 Portugal The Man stayed at Ralph’s house and played the same Cafe Glocksee. Still so surreal these people accept all these bands you into their homes.

SUBROSE, DORTMUND

Tight venue tonight, everyone packed in like sardines. Always feel a little bad for shooting photos infant of people. Sorry, not sorry. Handful of diehard fans all wearing Bad Dreems merch and asking for autographs. Pretty epic (and funny). Peppermint shots at the bar. Basically alcoholic toothpaste. Unnecessary amount of take away booze back at the accommodation. Alli just fell into the drink cabinet smashing glass everywhere. Kinda hectic then hilarious. 

THE PITS, BELGIUM

Today is officially the final show of my touring journey, it’s been one hell of a ride. Very happy I’ve been taking these note otherwise a lot of this shit would have been forgotten about. Sleep in and a salad for breakfast, like that’ll help anything at this point. Quick beer at a tiny local bar with a dart board. The Pits is a very iconic punk venue that’s had many famous bands here over the last 35 years including - Dead Moon and The Mummies. Stickers and tags cover the entire venue. Not a skerrick of blank space left on the walls. So many good band names on the walls. The venue is so small that the front door, the ticket desk, the merch desk and urinals are all in the same 2 meters of each other. Great show tonight, locals passing a broom stick around to spin the disco balls on the ceiling. 

PARIS, FINAL DAY OF TOURING

3.5hr drive to the final destination of this tour, Paris. This is where I will depart Bad Dreems and end my one and a half months of touring. All good things must come to an end. Flight delayed, classic way to end this madness. Plot twist, got an entire emergent exit row to myself. No more photos, no more bands, no more vans. Just sleep.Thank you Bad Dreems for having me on tour it’s been a true pleasure and a great way to end it all.

And thanks to you, yeah YOU the fool reading my shit. Hopefully my words and images have entertained you over the last month or so. You probably won’t hear from me for while, or maybe you will, who knows. Seeya!