Monster Children

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Catching Karl Dorman

Images by Sam Coady

Karl Dorman, skates like a crazy person.

He jumps off roofs and skates the most ridiculous spots known to man, which you can see in his huge catalogue of parts. He also puts in an absurd amount of effort to make those spots skateable. He is also hilarious which I’m sure you will see from this interview.

When I messaged him to ask to do this interview, he said ‘Chances are you’ll ask me what I’m doing, and I’ll be like ‘Dude it’s 11:26 am and I’m eating a crust pizza on a pink gym mat covered in paint right now’’. That was exactly what he was doing at the time when I messaged him, but I called him while he was on the way to skate at Summer Hill skatepark, one of the most confusing skateparks I’ve ever skated.

To continue his catalogue of parts he has a part coming out in Cameron Fraser’s masterpiece, Arcadia, which is premiering in Sydney at Paddington’s, Chauvel Theatre this Friday, the 30th of June at 7:30. The video is amazing. Cameron has put so much effort into the video and everyone’s footage is incredible. I am insanely proud of him, and you are all going to be blown away when you see how great the video is. I unfortunately won’t be able to make it so please if you are in Sydney this weekend, go for me. I promise it’ll be worth it!

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Have you ever been interviewed before?

Nah, I’ve been interviewed before for Fuknoath. Jae Overton and Riely Walker did it, so it wasn’t really like being interviewed, they just got me drunk at Russell Crowe and I just talked a bunch of shit. I said that I hated Jaws [laughs].

Why do you hate Jaws?

I just think he’s a stinker. I think it’s also because people compare me to him because I like jumping off shit. I don’t like the way that he skates, I don’t like the spots that he skates. I feel like when I jump off something it has to be something that is cool or that is a little different. Not just going off something. It has to be something more than that.

I get that. Speaking of roofs, when did you realise that you enjoyed jumping off them?

I think I only realised it after I was jumping off roofs and shit. I don’t so much enjoy dangerous things I hate rollercoasters or theme parks and I’d never skydive. I like to do things like that because, one it is a good release, two because I want to know what happens if you do that like I want to know if it’s possible for me to do that. Maybe it’s also some kind of internalised trauma that I may have, where I am so afraid that people thinking I am a coward, so I put myself into ridiculously scary situations to prove that I’m not afraid. I’m not sure but because in general life I am afraid of most stuff.

What was the first roof you jumped off?

It was this roof in Mosman, which is some rich area in the Northern Beaches. It was the roof of a garage that is kind of next door, and you have to gap over a fence and a little garden, then you land on the driveway on the other side of the fence.

That sounds so sick. How old were you?

I was like thirteen or fourteen. That was when I was able to start skating spots and stuff like that. I’m not naturally good at skating in case anyone hasn’t worked it out yet. I was shit at first. I was shit for like three years, I couldn’t ollie, I couldn’t kickflip, I couldn’t do anything. 

Have you ever jumped off the ladder when you are painting a house just to feel that rush?

No, I’ve never jumped off the ladder, but I have fallen off a ladder. I didn’t jump intentionally.

Okay so, you started up your own painting business earlier this year. How’s it going?

I don’t know man. That’s an actual honest answer. I am so bad at keeping my books and doing all that, so I don’t know if I’m actually making better money than I was when I was working for a company. But in terms of lifestyle, it’s way better. I have more freedom, and no one tells me what to do. I really like it. It makes me not hate my trade so much. I felt like before I was like some pleb who just went to work and does physical labour for eight hours. It wasn’t as exciting. Now I have something to work towards.

That’s awesome. Give it a plug. How can the people find you?

It’s @brushandglosspainting on Instagram, but just call me on 0478 065 206.

Perfect! Have you got a slogan?

Nah not yet, I should think of one. What’s a good paint slogan? How about, “don’t worry about not painting your house, just be more concerned with getting your house painted instead”. What do you reckon [laughs]?

[Laughs] Its perfect.

Yeah, you like it?

I like it.

Also, on another business note, when you own your own business, you get to decide how you approach customers and how you carry yourself, so you can be as fucked as you want and it doesn’t really matter. As long as you can relate to someone on a personal level it works better to not be too professional, because if you are too professional you just sound like a computer or a big corporation. If you just put your personality and all your quirks into it the customer can see that you’re an actual human. Which is something I’ve learnt that I didn’t know, because at the start I was trying to me a professional version of me, now I just am myself.

That’s a great realisation. Dropping some facts for the people. If you search up your name on YouTube, you will find that you have filmed a lot of video parts. How many parts have you filmed?

I think I’ve filmed nine, ten including Arcadia. I might’ve filmed more but I can’t remember.

What is your favourite and least favourite of those parts?

Favourite is anything that I’ve filmed with Murray Maclean, he’s really easy to film with, he’s really patient and he’s the best. My least favourite is the Miasma part, but to my dismay anyone I know says that’s their favourite part of mine, but I fucking hate it, it is to dubstep.

Can we talk more about the Miasma part?

Sure, if we have to.

Can you explain the part for anyone who hasn’t seen it?

It’s visual and auditory spew. It’s fucking awful. I am so sorry to the guy that made that part. I don’t think he knows I dislike it this much, if he sees this interview I apologise in advance. Sometimes you have to be honest in life, I’m sorry, that part was fucking shit. That was the worst fucking part I’ve ever seen in my life and it’s so unfortunate that it’s me in the part I have to live with that shit [laughs]. It’s on YouTube so I can’t even do anything about it and my friends love it so that’s the only reason I haven’t asked them to take it down.

Back to explaining it, the part is me skating a bunch of drops and obscure obstacles mixed in with a bunch of other people on the team. There are like weird kind of like, mid 2010 memes that are edited in over the top to dubstep.

I love it, it’s so insane.

In a way I kind of like it because it reminds me that you can be completely fucked, the wackest human on earth and for some reason I still have friends. That means I must be okay, somewhat.

Holy shit [laughs]. Well, this interview is to coincide with the Arcadia premiere and you’ve been filming for the video since the very beginning. How did you get involved in the video?

I just became friends with Cam [Fraser] from skating Waterloo Skatepark and I was already friends with everyone else in the video. Sean [Ryan] was like one day, you should film a part for Cam’s video, and I said ‘okay’. Then we started filming for it.

How are you feeling about it, are you keen for it to come out?

I’m very excited for it to come out. Ordinarily I am nervous to know other people are going to watch my footage. But I am so psyched for it because I loved Cam’s other video, Interchange and he has put the most insane amount of effort into creating this video, this dude is on some rainman shit. He is like the rainman of creating this video.

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Speaking on the video, who is Eric?

Fuck Eric. I sound like such a fuckwit, but Eric is this security guard who guards my favourite double set. It’s a five-flat-six, in Chinatown. I’ve tried front shuv, kickflip, back 180 and straight nollie, but I haven’t been able to do anything because of Eric. He is the staunchest security guard ever, he’s super aggressive. You know what? He’s a great security guard, he is fantastic at kicking you out. But I know him on a first name basis now and he fucking hates me. Every time I see him, I see the rage in his eyes.

There’s more than one Eric, right?

Yeah, there are more than just one security guard at the building, but I just refer to them all as Eric, because the original guy I am talking about was actually Eric.

How many times have you gone back?

Maybe like seven or eight. Haven’t landed a thing though because Eric is too good at his job.

What is the story behind you and the fountain?

There was this new fountain that was built in Sydney uni. It is such a sick spot, so I thought I should drain the fountain, because I wanted to try a trick there. The fountain wasn’t on when I went, but there were just a bunch of old gross, swampy water and leaves in it.

It was Dean Palmer, Rhys Grogan, Sean Ryan and I. We were out and I mentioned to them that I wanted to drain the fountain, they said they were keen to do it that night. So, we went there super late. It was Sean and my job to get a hose to syphon the water out then it was Rhys and Dean’s job to buy a case of beers so we could drink the beer while we were syphoning. Sean and I couldn’t really find a hose that was ethical to take so we went to Squish’s [Jack O’Grady] house to steal his. As I was jumping his fence, he was in his backyard coming home from a night out. I told him what we were doing, and he was down, he just gave me the hose. Which was super nice. Thanks Squish. When we got there, there was no Rhys or Dean in sight, so I called Dean, and he told me that Rhys drank most of the case on the way to meet us and he was too drunk to keep going. So, we kept syphoning, we tried to find Rhys and he was just passed out on a patch of wet lawn. For some reason we were adopting like weird tradie characters because we were doing labouring, by syphoning. We were speaking to Rhys like he was an apprentice, so he took on the personality of a young English apprentice who was too drunk to do the job. We managed to drag him to the fountain, I syphoned it all out and we drank all the beers. I nearly spewed a thousand times because the water was so gross, I had to suck the end of the hose to get the syphon going and I got all this water in my mouth, it was seriously terrible. We managed to do it all. Then we went back the next day, and I got the trick. It was all worth it.

That is disgusting [laughs]. You’re quite the linguist. What are some of your most recent words and phrases that you are trying to infiltrate into everyone’s vocabulary?

Cam [Fraser] calls me an absurd word generator. Slang in skating changes so frequently that it happens organically, someone says something, and it sticks. I am trying to inorganically change skate slang. I just think of words I think are funny and say them to people. I’ve been calling people ‘professor’ lately but that one isn’t really catching on. I’ve been calling people ‘Leviticus’ like the book of Leviticus in the bible. I’ve been saying that Dua Lipa looks like a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Where did the Dua Lipa one come from?

Dude, I don’t know. Aimee, my girlfriend showed me a photo of her, and I just was just like she looks like a Dyson Vacuum cleaner in this photo. No disrespect to Dua Lipa, I’m not body shaming, everyone loves a Dyson vacuum cleaner. I also think it’s funny to say that. I was at a party the other day and people that I don’t even know were actually angry at me because I said that. I’m just like, they are the most expensive vacuum cleaner on the market, everyone loves a Dyson vacuum cleaner. If you’re going to be compared to something, be compared to the best version of something. I get compared to Jaws. He is ugly as fuck, and you don’t see me giving a fuck. Take the compliment Dua Lipa.

I feel like it’s a compliment being compared to a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Yeah, they are the best at doing what they do, and they have a streamline design what more can you want in a compliment?

To wrap this up. What is the story when you guys helped build Jake Johnson’s mini ramp?

Man, that was sick, that was like a dream come true. So, Dean Palmer knows him, and he was on that trip. We were at the Quasi prem in Richmond, Virginia, we watched the video and went to just go hang out at our RV. We were walking down the street and we heard these footsteps behind us, and this person was screaming out ‘Dean, Dean’. We turn around and it’s Jake Johnson, running down the street, full legs in motion. He caught up to us and he invited us to an afterparty. We were just hanging out, Pat Burke was there, I didn’t say hello, I just kind of looked at him [laughs]. Later, Jake Johnson needed a lift back to his place, so we offered him a lift and he just said we could stay at his house for a couple of days.  

He was building a mini ramp at that time too and we helped finish building his mini ramp. We stayed at his place for three days, he took us around the town he grew up in, we played in his band room, and he made us dinner and bought us beer. It was so nice, he lived in this big open field. It was also the first house we stayed in weeks because we were staying in an RV, it was pure luxury. I couldn’t talk higher of Jake Johnson, we didn’t know him at all, he invited us to his house and was super hospitable.