Words and Choices by Camp Man

Sometimes I feel a strange yearning deep inside.

A ‘queer’ desire that threatens to explode out of me, like frothy surf shooting out of a rocky blowhole. It tickles my fancy like a feather duster, leaves me tossing all night. What is it I desire, you ask? How do I even put it into words… I find my life lacking a certain camp-ness, maybe. All I want is what those handsome, manly, sweaty, hairy and admittedly very tactile farmers had in that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. Bareback Mountain, I think it was called? Yes, you get what I’m driving at… I want to pitch a tent with my mates. I want to go camping! See the great outdoors from the moment I open my eyes with gay wonder at dawn until the moment I close them to dream in my bestie’s warm embrace at night. But when I find myself desiring that whole scenario, I think to myself, like, “Where can I even do that?” Oh, how many nights I’ve dreamt of the day a listicle on a popular youth-oriented culture site would tell manly ol’ me where I can go camping. And then I thought to myself, “Wait a second — I write for a, er… well it’s a youth-oriented culture site at least! Why don’t I write that listicle?” And so I have, and so you are welcome! Thar he blows: 

QUEENSLAND: LAMINGTON NATIONAL PARK

As iconic as the name suggests, Lamington National Park is a world heritage site where you can camp in eye-watering rainforests. Bird watchers should head to O'Reilly's where wild crimson rosellas abound and will eat right outta ya hand. There’s a bunch of camping sites here to choose from, but the whole place is incredible — you can’t really go wrong. 

VICTORIA: WILSONS PROM

A couple of hours south of Melbourne you’ll find Wilson Promontory, one of the stunnin’-est places in the whole of Victoria. There’s camping spots along the multi-day hike, so you can hike, enjoy the views, and sleep somewhere new every night. You don’t have to pay to hike but you do have to pay (and register) to camp, but you can easily sort that out at the Tidal River Visitor Centre near the entrance. If you go in winter, you might even see whales making their journey from Antarctica to fuck-knows-where. Oh, also, like many camping sites, you’re going to want to secure your food stuffs and keep your tents zipped up — those possums are bloody cheeky. 

TASMANIA: LAKE ST CLAIR NATIONAL PARK

You’ve probably heard of the Overland Track, a serious hike with glorious views along which you can camp. There are powered and unpowered sites, depending on what you want, and you can also book a hut if you’ve had enough of the great outdoors after all that walking up and down hills. At this time of year you’re gonna wanna pack warm. Wait — that probably goes for almost all these spots in winter, lol. 

SOUTH AUSTRALIA: COORONG NATIONAL PARK

The Ocean Beach campgrounds leave nothing to be desired, unless you desire any amenities at all. Yep, it’s just you out there and whatever you bring with you. And you can bring a lot since you’ve got to drive a 4WD to access it. 

NEW SOUTH WALES: MUNGO NATIONAL PARK

This place looks like a piece of Mars wacked straight down in the South-West of NSW. It’s a place of significance to the local First Nations peoples, so do the right thing and stick to the walking tracks and the campground. You fancy pants out there can also take your caravan to the camping site, if you’re not in the mood to have sticks poking into your back during the night. There’s also hot showers and toilets — yew! — and barbecues.  

WESTERN AUSTRALIA: LUCKY BAY

Lucky Bay is home to beach-faring kangaroos and an ocean view that just won’t quit — what more could you ask for camping down under? It’s about 60 k’s from Esperance or 755 k’s from Perth — about 8 and a half hour’s drive, but it’s worth it. Head there in spring if you’re into blowing up Instagram with a backdrop to your selfie that’s all wildflowers. 

AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL TERRITORY: NAMADGI NATIONAL PARK

Yes, apparently the ACT has a place you can camp too! https://www.parks.act.gov.au/where-to-stay

NORTHERN TERRITORY: KARLU KARLU (DEVIL’S MARBLES CONSERVATION RESERVE)

The enormous granite boulders of this iconic Australian location kind of make you feel like you’re in a Pixar film, where, I don’t know, small things are made big? Apparently the rocks change colour throughout the day, and the sunrises and sunsets are 110% killer, zero filler. I think it’s kind of like Australia’s Leaning Tower of Pizza because I’ve seen a lot of people doing that thing where they pretend to lean against them, but they’re actually leaning against the rocks instead of playing with perspective like at the LTOP. Fun!